South Park "Gluten Costless Ebola"
The boys (Cartman, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny) are walking through the halls of South Park Elementary and all of the kids are looking at them angrily because they told all of their friends to go f**k themselves before they left to start their start up company. Even Wendy is mad at Stan because he broke with her because he said he'd be "Dripping with pu$$Y". Butters is in deeper poo for setting fire to gym. The teachers are discussing what to do with Butters and the teachers are waiting for Mr. Mackey. But Mr. Garrison asks if he has to wait for him because Mr. Garrison has been annoying since he's been gluten costless. Mr. Mackey arrives and immediately gets into how he was late because he knew there'd be doughnuts and he can't eat doughnuts because he's gluten costless. Mr. Even blames Butters burning down the school on Butters eating good with Gluten. Which is annoying Mr. Garrison.
In the burned down gym, the boys are trying to figure out why everyone is still mad. It's been four hours. So they decide to throw a big party for someone that they love and refuse to bail on. They're going to throw a party for Scott Malcinson (who has Diabetes and also says he has plans). So at the radio station, the boys are promoting the party when two calls come in about being Gluten costless. Mr. Garrison also calls in and says if one more person calls in about being gluten costless he's going to kiss in their face.
Now at the South Park Community Center, a guy is talking about what is and isn't a healthy diet and also clearing up the misconceptions about gluten, like that it'll make your penis fly off. And after analyzing what gluten really is it's harmless. After the explanation, Mr. Mackey yells out "Then eat that pure concentrated gluten". He eats the pure gluten and starts spasming and his penis flies off of him. Everyone in the Community Center runs away scared. Even Mr. Garrison freaks out. The adults of South Park freak out and get rid of all products in the town.
Back from the break, the USDA is running tests on pure gluten. They're confused because they thought wheat was healthy. They have to stop the crisis because they are the USDA and they said without them "We'd all be eating dirt and chairs".
Cartman is in bed and refuses to leave because there's no point. You can't have an awesome party without cake and pizza. Kyle reminds then that they still have Lorde performing. Stan leaves to remind his dad about getting her to perform.
Back at Stan's house, men in hazmat suits show up and say that they've had a report of gluten in his house. The men find a beer and lock Randy up in quarantine at Papa Johns. They tell him to eat nothing but the toppings.
Back at the USDA, the scientists are trying to figure out where they went wrong. They started with the five major food groups, but grain is out because it's all poison. And back home, Cartman is having dreams that his friends rag on him for having a lame party. Then, Aunt Jemima appears with pancakes. She tells him that Cartman has to get to the FDA to show them the way. That they need to look to the pyramids.
Back at the Papa Johns, Randy, Mr. Garrison and a random character are still in quarantine. With no toppings left to eat, the random guy starts downing pizza dough. Garrison and Randy are shocked because nothing is happening. The guy tells then it's a conspiracy...then his penis flies off. Randy and Garrison walk off screen sad.
Back at the USDA, the scientists are freaking out because it's almost dinnertime an people are going to die if they don't hurry. Cartman calls them and says they have to look to the pyramids. But the scientists explain that they abandoned the pyramid. Cartman tells them to turn it upside down. And after turning it upside down, they have a well balanced diet. With fatty and greasy foods now at the too. The party is back on and the kids are eating everything with butter and Lorde is performing (well Randy dressed as Lorde). Wendy asks Stan if he wants to dance and it looks like everything is back to South Park normal. Which is still pretty ****ed.
