We all know wrestling is fake. For those of you who didn't, Santa Clause also isn't real. Anyway, there are certain things that happen during matches or during a wrestling event that you just don't do.
1. Thou shalt drink with Stone Cold:
Drinking a beer with Stone Cold has never worked out well for anybody unless you're a woman. And even then, Stephanie McMahon has been on the receiving end of a Stone Cold Stunner or two. No matter how happy he is or if he just won a match and even if you helped him win the match, there's a ninety percentage chance you are going to get a Stunner for being next to him as soon as you take your first sip.
2. Thou shalt not call for your leg finisher:
Unless you're Shawn Michaels, do not, repeat, do NOT slap your leg and call for a kick. It never works out for anyone. Billy Gunn has called for the [email protected]$$-er on multiple occasions and has never hit the move. Test calling for the big boot? Nope, he missed too. Sorry. But hey, you need the theatrics even if you're not going to hit your finisher.
3. Thou shalt not mess with the Dudley Boyz:
As funny as it is, you don't mess with the Dudley Boyz. You may beat them, you may even take their titles, but they don't end grudges lightly. The best thing to do is when...IF you beat them to just take your punishment and be done with it. By "punishment", you get put through a table and they leave you alone. OR they could just haunt you for a few months, feud with someone else, and then randomly come after you again.
4. Thou shalt not get into a talkin match with The Rock:
Just don't. He has embarrassed everyone. You have the crowd behind you? IT DOESN'T MATTER! You're the best talker and you drop promo pipe bombs? IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU DROP PROMO PIPE BOMBS! The Rock built his career on making people look stupid. You can even hate The Rock, but when drops a new catch phrase, you will laugh just like everyone else does.
5. Thou shalt not expect an RKO:
They come out of nowhere.
6. Thou shalt not punch Hulk Hogan when he kicks out of your finisher:
How many times have we seen Hulk Hogan get his second win and end up winning the match? Let's go down the list of people who have broken this commandment and lost. Triple H, Randy Orton, Andre the Giant, almost everybody in World Champioship Wrestling (WCW) and many many more. Sometimes it seems like he just has to kick out of a finsiher to hulk up. Almost like he's trying to bury his opponents move...
6. Thou shalt not go to contract signings:
This is how it's going to go down. Both guys are going to come out. The heel will say their piece, the face will retort, and then someone is going to get the snot beat out of them and more than likely get put through a table. It almost never fails. These things never work out. Even though we see it coming, it's still entertaining.
7. Thou shalt not wreslte in your home town:
From John Cena to Shawn Micahels to Bret Hart, no good comes out of performing in your home town. Whenever Jim Ross happened to go back to Oklahoma he would some how end up in a match or ended up getting beat down or having his arm broken or given a stunner. John Cena almost always had to watch his dad get beat down by some other wrestler. CM Punk might be the only person who can get away with going home and coming out on top.
8. Thou shalt Trust a McMahon:
Whenever anyone trusts a McMahon, they regret it almost immeditely. When will people learn that even his wife is eventually going to turn on them and fight alongside her family. The McMahons have made a career screwing people over and making sure the person he wants to be champ is champ. It's what they do and it's what they are good at.
*Side Note* For the record, The McMahons are the characters. Not their real life personas.
9. Thou shalt not see John Cena:
For some reason we can't see him. All jokes aside, he will always bring his a-game. So when he says "You can't see me", he isn't saying he can't be beaten. What he's saying is that that he isn't going to just give up and lay down. Whenever Cena fights, he is going to give you his all.
10. Thou Shalt Not Piss Off Dean Ambrose:
Almost more than antone else ever, Dean Ambrose holds a grudge and does not let it go. He's like Liam Neeson. He will find you and he will make you pay. Even if he loses, he will still tourment you. Just ask Seth Rollins. He was looking over his shoulder for months (and probably stil does). He even stole Rollins' WWE Title and took it everywhere with him. There is even pictures of him all around New Orleans with the belt. He is one of the last people you want to make mad. Kane and Taker might hurt you, but Ambrose will hurt you and annoy you non-stop.
Lost tablet Commandment:
11: Thou shalt not be Perfect:
Sorry, that's reserved only for Curt Hennig. You may be the Excellence of Execution, The Great One, The Best in the world, or seventeen time world champion, but you never ever be Perfect.