Sepp Blatter Recovering After Emotional Breakdown

Wednesday saw sad news from Switzerland: no, the FIFA elections aren't canceled (thankfully). The bad news is that FIFA Presidential hopeful Sepp Blatter was hospitalized after he had an "emotional breakdown" that led to his body "collapsing" last week after a checkup.

Fortunately Blatter was able to receive the very best health care money can buy and has since been released to rest at home.

Don't worry, no jokes about Blatter and money this time around.

2015 has been a difficult year for the embattled president of world football. In late May, mere days ahead of his victory parade (re: presidential election), seven of his top members were escorted out of Zurich's top hotel by Swiss police on behalf of the US Department of Justice. Another seven were arrested across the world in a massive scandal involving TV rights. Ever since then more and more FIFA officials and related peoples in the sports industry have been investigated, charged and arrested the world over.

Days after his reelection, Blatter decided to "lay down his mandate" in favor of a new election to be held in February of 2016. After having spent decades within FIFA, the end was coming far sooner for Blatter than he had planned. After having hoped to retire to grand applause after the World Cup in Russia, instead Blatter is being forced out after most of the organizations top sponsors put pressure on him to leave now.

As if things couldn't get worse for the poor man, the FIFA Ethics Committee suspended Blatter after the Swiss police opened an investigation over rights sold to everyone's favorite crook, Jack Warner, as well as a contract with Michel Platini over work done around the turn of the century. That investigation also saw Platini suspended as well.

With his whole world collapsing around him, it's no surprise that Blatter would have such a collapse. Fortunately for everyone, he recovered quickly and will be (not) on the job soon enough. The last thing FIFA needs right now is a Martyr. A villain, though?

A bright light at the end of the tunnel is the chance for Blatter to be re-elected as President through some very sneaky election laws that were passed by yours truly. Until then, fans across the world wait anxiously as various police departments continue to pull FIFA apart, piece by piece.