“Cult of Personality” blast within the arena as CM Punk makes his way down to the ring. Punk gives us his year-end review. He talks about being the longest reigning WWE champion and destroying Paul Heyman. He goes on to say he doesn’t consider this past year to have been his best. He says only the Shield can claim 2013 as their year. He says he has a proposition for them. The Shield comes through the crowd to the ring. Dean Ambrose does his best Batman villain impression and threatens to take over Gotham City… err I mean to end Punk.
Punk says he wants to fight the best member of the Shield. Ambrose jumps up and says he will take on Punk. Punk says he wasn’t talking about Ambrose, because he has beaten him like 15 times already (more like 20, but who’s counting). He wants Reigns or Rollins. After some arguing, Rollins says it should be him. Brad Maddox comes out and says he will solve this problem: Punk will face Rollins right now.
The dissention between Shield members is getting worst and worst as the weeks go on. Punk did a great job pushing them further towards their impending break up. I still feel they are rushing the break up though.
Singles Match: CM Punk vs. Seth Rollins-
Punk starts out by almost immediately hitting the GTS. Punk broke out his double underhook back breaker and the rope clutch submission in the corner. It’s funny, every time someone wrestles Rollins they go deep into their move sets. It’s like looking an old ROH show. Punk hops to the top rope, but Rollins pushes him off the top which caused Punk to land head first into the barricade. After a short commercial break, Rollins goes for a senton off the top but Punk moves out of the way.
Punk tries his running knee in the corner, but Rollins catches him mid and powerbombs Punk into the turnbuckle. Punk manages to barely kick out. Rollins tries to hit the GTS on Punk, but Punk reverses and finally hits his high knee, then a sick lariat. Rollins manages to reverse Punks next attack and crushes Punk with a standing Shiranui. Rollins pins Punk, but the ref is caught up trying to get Ambrose and Reigns away from the action. Punk kicks out. Rollins goes for a spring board, but Punk catches him mid-air and hits the GTS. It’s a wrap.
CM Punk defeated Seth Rollins via pin fall.
'Mr. Sandman... Bring me a dream...' source www.wwe.com
Great opening match. Makes me immediately thin the rest of the night is going to be terrible. RAW has a bad habit of not sustaining its momentum.
Maddox is backstage with HHH and Stephanie McMahon. Daniel Bryan interrupts them and says he doesn’t want 2013 to end without him getting his hands on Bray Wyatt. Maddox tells him that if he beats both of Bray’s flunkies in singles matches, then he can get his hands on Bray.
Stephanie McMahon comes out and airs a highlight package for Randy Orton… you know, because the Orton ball licking has to continue in the New Year. Stephanie announces that Orton will face John Cena at the Royal Rumble.
So we getting Orton vs. Cena 176: This time, it’s personal… sorta?
A promo for Batista’s return airs. If this was a few years ago, I would make a joke about how much I don’t care. I have to say, I kinda miss Batista. He was finally getting interesting before he quit.
HHH and Steph are backstage and they comment on how they will finally know who the real champion is. Wait, what? Is it me, or have the Authority been throwing a bit of shade on Orton as of late. This could lay the ground work for a split down the line.
Singles Match: Dolph “Sir Jobs-a-lot” Ziggler vs. Curtis Axel-
Sigh… I am a huge Dolph Ziggler fan. It pains me to say this, but he isn’t going to win this match. And I have no idea when he will stop being a doormat. Well at least he is still on TV? That’s one way to look at it, I suppose. Err… as I typed that Ziggler just hit the Zig Zag. Oops.
Curtis Axel defeated Dolph Ziggler via pin fall.
Dolph Ziggler defeated Curtis Axel via pin fall.
RAW goes Old School next week. That’s always fun… said no one ever.
Intercontinental Championship Match: Big E. Langston (C) vs. Fandango w/Summer Rae-
Funny story: before Fandango was sidelined with a concussion, he was scheduled to win the IC title. When he got hurt, we were forced to look Curtis Axel parade around with the title for way to long. Langston is the new golden boy, but he really needs legit challengers to grow as a superstar. Langston starts off in control, but eats a spinning heel kick. Fandango charges Langston, but Langston jumps right over him… you heard me right, Langston has an insane vertical leap.
After another commercial break, Fandango is working over Langston’s leg, which is probably the best strategy. Fandango hits his leg drop finish on Langston, but Langston rolls out of the ring to avoid being pinned. Langston manages to hit the Big Ending for the win. Yes it happened that fast.
Big E. Langston defeated Fandango via pin fall.
'BEEEEF CAAAAKKE!' source www.wwe.com
Booker T and a bunch of others come out… for something… I guess… oh look. Its Alex Riley… and Wade Barrett… Moving right along…
Damien Sandow is backstage with Renee. He says he is tired of being disrespected. If he can’t beat the opponent the WWE Universe picks for him, he will quit.
Singles Match: Damien Sandow vs. The Great Khali-
Wow, I didn’t see Khali getting picked coming. Sandow pinned Khali with a roll up.
Damien Sandow defeated the Great Khali via pin fall.
Not sure what the point of any of that was. Usually when people make stupid promises like Sandow just did it leads to them actually quitting. Ehh whatever, wresting logic.
Singles Match: R-Truth w/Xavier Woods vs. Brodus-
Brodus dominates Truth the entire match. I guess Brodus is going to finally be the monster the internet fans wanted him to be. Personally, Brodus is pretty damn boring without all the bells and whistles. Woods distracts Brodus by calling out the Funkadactyals and dancing on the announce table (hahahaha that was actually pretty funny). Truth gets the win after hitting a diving complete shot off the second rope.
R-Truth defeated Brodus Clay via pin fall.
HHH comes out to the ring to make another “big announcement”. Maybe he is going to announce he will face the Rock for the 457th time. So…Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman walk out. Man did I misjudge that one. HHH and Lesnar shake hands. My fiancé is sitting next to me and she blurted out, “oh HHH brought him back for a reason”. Yeah, I think she might be dead on with this one. Heyman says Brock isn’t here to settle old scores, he is there to become the next WWE world heavyweight champion.
Brock says the line for a title shot starts behind him. If anyone has a problem with it, they can tell him right now. As expected, Mark Henry comes out to challenge Lesnar. Henry tosses Lesnar over the barricade. Lesnar in turn gores Henry through the barricade. He then picks up Henry and F5’s him outside the ring. Heyman has to restrain Lesnar from continuing his assault. That F5 was sick.
'Wow...' source www.wwe.com
The cast of Total Divas vs. The cast of WWE RAW-
Ok… Where is JO JO? Why is AJ not involved in this match at all? Yes that is all I care about here. Sigh ok, I’m out.
Gauntlet Match: Daniel Bryan vs. Luke Harper, then Eric Rowen, Then Bray Wyatt-
The fact that this match is happening on the last episode of RAW in 2013 probably means it is meant to be a the blow off for this feud or the beginning of something new. I have no idea where this is going. One thing to note, how many episodes of RAW has Bryan fought 2-3 people? Just a thought. Harper almost gets the win after Bryan takes too long to set up a top rope hurracanranna and gets powerbombed off the top rope. Bryan eventually gets the pin after the Busaiku knee.
Eric Rowen is in and he is continuing the beating that Luke Harper started. After a second rope fall away slam, Rowen walks over to Bryan and gets caught in a small package for the win. Bryan has survived both Rowen and Harper and now finally gets his hands on Bray Wyatt.
Before Bryan could get his hands on Bray, Rowen and Harper attack him causing the DQ finish. The Wyatts destroy Bryan on the outside of the ring, and then bring him back in the ring for Bray to have his way with him. Bray grabs a mic and sings us the creepiest song ever. Bray tells Bryan this is the end. Bryan tells Bray he is right. Bray gives Bryan the mic. As Bryan lays on the mat in a heap, He tells Bray that he was always right. No matter how many matches he won or how loud the people cheered for him, the machine would never let him win. Bryan tells Bray, “I am yours. Let me join the family”. Bray hits Bryan with Sister Abigail to seal the deal. Rowen and Harper pic up Bryan and start to carry him to the back. Bryan pushes them away and walks under his own power.
'Queue the Incredible Hulk tv show theme' source www.wwe.com
Wow… I have no idea what any of this is going to mean in 2014, but it apparently is going to be a brave new world.
