RAW kicks off with the newlyweds Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella in the ring. They lead the ruckus Baltimore crowd in a massive yes chant. Stephanie “Cold as Ice” McMahon makes her way down the ramp to interrupt the crowd’s fun. Steph gets into the ring and peppers them with as many backhanded complements as humanly possible. That had to be a record. She tells them she got them a wedding gift. Bryan will defend his WWE World Heavyweight title at Extreme Rules against Kane. Steph warns Bryan he may want to get his pretty little wife out of harms way. Kane’s music hits, but Kane is nowhere to be found. Steph yells at Kane and tells him now is not the time. Bryan and Brie get out of the ring. Kane appears out of thin air and attacks Bryan. Kane has on his mask… this will not end well for Bryan.
After he knocks Bryan to the ground he turns his attention to Brie, who falls to the ground in fright. Bryan jumps on Kane’s back and tells Brie to run, which she smartly does. Kane Tombstones Bryan outside the ring… Then again on the steel steps… Then again on the announce table. Steph is yelling at Kane to stop but Kane clearly isn’t interested in anything she has to say. EMT’s are loading Bryan on a backboard and wheeling him out of the arena.
That was one of the most vicious attacks this writer has ever seen. Steph is in the ring and tells the crowd to give a warm round of applause for the champion as she holds both his titles. Nice touch. It is extremely hard not to hate Steph and that exactly the way it should be. This was an awesome way to reestablish Kane’s legendary mean streak. If anyone wasn’t interested in the purposed title match at the ppv, you should be now.
IC Title Tournament Semi-Finals Match: Sheamus vs. Bad News Barrett-
This match starts off at a surprisingly fast pace. The start of the action is punctuated by Sheamus sending BNB to the outside and diving off the top rope onto BNB outside the ring! Never seen Sheamus soar like that before… then again, someone as white as a ghost should be able to fly. After a short break, Sheamus is still in full control. Hitting multiple clotheslines and a battering ram off the top rope.
BNB ducks a Sheamus clothesline and sets up for Wasteland. Sheamus wiggles out and goes for a Brogue kick, but BNB ducks. Sheamus hits the ropes and runs right into BNB’s Winds of Change. Sheamus kicks out. BNB attempts the Bull Hammer, but Sheamus ducks and levels BNB with White Noise. BNB manages to kick out. BNB hits the Bull Hammer from outside the ring for the win! That match was epic.
Bad News Barrett defeated Sheamus via pin fall to advance in the IC title tournament finals.
It’s hard not to be disappointed in the way Big E’s title reign has gone. It has nothing to do with him, but more to do with the situations they have put him in. Hopefully this tournament leads to an actual feud for him and not just another one off match for the title.
Sigh another Bo Dallas vignette. Someone please explain his appeal? Sound off in the comments!
Michael Cole announces the WWE Universe will get to pick his opponent tonight. He will face Luke Harper or Luke Harper and Eric Rowen or Luke Harper, Eric Rowen and Bray Wyatt. Talk about Sophie’s Choice. Only way for Bryan to get his hands on Bray is in a three on one match.
Right on cue Bray comes out to try to Jedi mind trick the WWE Universe to pick the three on one handicapped match. It will be very interesting to see what match they select.
Six Man Tag Match: Los Matadores and El Torito vs. 3MB and Hornswoggle-
Seriously, WWE? Again? If you are interested on my take on this feud, check out my recap of last weeks Smackdown. After a cringe worthy series of nut shots, Los Matadores and El Torito get the win.
Los Matadores and El Torito defeated 3MB and Hornswoggle.
Evolution arrives in a stretch limo. Looks like HHH forced Batista to go to his tailor for a half decent outfit. Side note: only Batista would wear a sleeveless suit jacket (it’s Batista, its not a vest). Even money HHH saw him walk out of the tailor, sighed, shrugged his shoulders and said, “close enough”
Evolution makes there way to the ring. HHH’s voice sounds terrible. Did Steph decide she needed more than just his cojones and decided to take his tonsils as well? Batista tells everyone to deal with it. The Shield has heard enough. Their music hits and they come through the crowd to the ring. Evolution promptly exits the ring. Ambrose delivers the line of the night when he calls Randy Orton a cream puff. Before the Shield can get their hands on Evolution, every heel without a storyline comes out on the ramp to defend Evolution. The WWE Universe should have seen that coming. There are two weeks until the ppv. Best thing the WWE can do is keep the Shield and Evolution apart. Save it for the ppv.
Tag Team Match: The Usos vs. The Rhodes Brothers-
The WWE actually announced the fact that one of the Usos (yes this writer still can’t tell them apart) is was recently married to Naomi/Trinity. It looks like they are really pushing this “reality era” idea.
Rybaxel has joined the commentary desk. Not sure why, but they are there. Before Cody can hit Cross Rhodes, err… Jey Uso? Super kicks Cody for the win.
The Usos defeated the Rhodes Brothers via pin fall.
After the match, Cody shoves Goldust and walks away. During the confusion, Rybaxel leaves the Usos lying in the ring.
It appears the long rumored Cody Rhodes/Goldust break up will be happening sooner rather than later. It’s hard to tell how that will turn out, but one would hope it would end with Cody getting a huge push.
Divas Match: Emma w/Santino Marella vs. Layla w/Fandango-
It’s hard not to like Emma, but it’s easy to hate her partnership with Santino. Where could it possible go? Is there an end game? Layla takes control early after Fandango trips Santino, which distracts Emma. Emma hits a clothesline on Layla, and then pulls a pink Cobra out of her sock. Emma gets the win after the… the… Shcobra?
Emma defeated Layla via pin fall.
IC Title Tournament Semi-Finals Match: Rob Van Dam vs. Cesaro w/Paul Heyman-
Heyman goes on another rant about how Brock Lesnar defeated the Undertaker at WrestleMania. Talk about digging the knife in. RVD finally comes out and interrupts Heyman’s rant.
After a somewhat sloppy exchange, RVD gets sent shoulder first into the ring posts after Cesaro drop kicks him in the rear end. After a commercial break, Cesaro hits the double stomp on RVD, which he follows up with the dead lift gut wrench suplex. RVD hits a side kick to Cesaro’s face. Rolling Thunder by RVD. Cesaro kicks out at two. RVD goes up top and hits a diving side kick off the top. RVD goes back to the top rope for the Five Star Frog Splash. Cesaro manages to hit a running European uppercut on RVD before he could fly of the top. Before Cesaro could take advantage, RVD kicks him in the head again and hits a split legged moonsault. Cesaro kicks out again.
Cesaro almost breaks RVD’s neck with a double underhook power bomb. Cesaro double legs RVD for the Cesaro swing. Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger make there way to the ring. Cesaro gets sent to the outside. Heyman and Colter argue. RVD tries a cross body off the top to the outside, but dives right into a European uppercut by Cesaro! Before Cesaro could get in the ring, Swagger pushes Cesaro head first into the ring post which leads to Cesaro being counted out.
Rob Van Dam defeated Cesaro via count out to advance in the IC title tournament finals.
After the match, Cesaro almost locks Colter in the Swing, but Swagger saves Colter. Before Swagger can get away, he gets stuck in the Cesaro Swing!
Fun match. It will be interesting to see what happens between Bad News Barrett and RVD next week. Even money say BNB will beat RVD and go on to face Big E. for the IC title. Hashtag alphabet soup.
Divas Match: Divas Champion Paige vs. Aksana-
Paige beats the holy hell out of Aksana. Aksana begs off and sneaks a kick to Paige’s gut. She sets Paige up on the top and tosses her off. Paige knees Aksana in the face, locks in the Scorpion Cross lock and Aksana has no choice but to tap out.
Paige defeated Aksana via submission.
Singles Match: Alexander Rusev w/Legs… err Lana vs. Sin Cara-
Rusev destroys Sin Cara. Sin Cara taps to the Accolade.
Alexander Rusev defeated Sin Cara via submission.
That was another impressive victory for Rusev. Should Rusev be facing Big E. for the IC title?
The vote is in! John Cena will face all three members of the Wyatt Family. Who saw that coming? This writer did!
Three on One Handicap Match: John Cena vs. The Wyatt Family-
The Family immediately attacks Cena. He can’t defend against the combined might of all three Wyatt Family members. Harper crushes Cena with a clothesline and Eric Rowen tossed Cena in the air with a fall away slam. Bray tags in and slow dances with Cena’s limp body. Harper gets distracted and gets trapped in the STF. Rowen breaks up the submission attempt.
After a short break, Bray is banging Cena’s head on the ring post. This is slowly becoming uncomfortable to look. Bray Spider walks, but gets clotheslined out of his boots by Cena. Cena goes all Five Moves of Doom on Bray. Cena hits a huge AA on Bray! Cena goes for a pin, but Rowen and Harper break up the pin. The referee calls for the bell.
John Cena defeated the Wyatt Family via DQ.
After the match, Bray hits Sister Abigail on Cena. Bray sings his song to Cena, while cradling his head. Well that wasn’t creepy at all.