Former WWE star and Hall of Famer Stone Cold Steve Austin says he is tired of his Dallas Cowboys current losing streak and he has a solution. He says that he should be the Cowboys new starting quarterback. Austin said according to The Dallas Morning News.
"I tell you what, I've got some time on my hands. I could be there Sunday, playing the Philadelphia Eagles," "I think I can line 'em up, throw for about 300, 400 yards." "Get Wiiten open, get Dez working, a lot of underneath routes. Give McFadden the ball a few times. Maybe do a little end-around fake the reverse pitchout, let me run downfield and Darren can throw me the ball about 60 yards out, catch it in full stride and boom...spike it over the damn goalpost."`.
While this may have been a joke, the idea of Kayfabe Stone Cold playing in the NFL is too funny to not bring up some possible scenarios.
The Dallas Cowboys are set to take the field *Glass breaking sound over the p.a. system and Stone Cold's music plays*. J.R. (who for some reason is commentating) "BY GAWD, IT'S THE TEXAS RATTLESNAKE!! HE'S HERE TO OPEN A FRESH CAN OF WHOOP @$$ ON THE NFL!!!". Austin then walks over to opposing team's bench and flips off their entire defense.
First play of the game. Austin calls the play "Survivor Series 96...Ring master...HIKE!" Austin steps back, the defense gets past the line and AUSTIN GIVES HIM A KNUCKLE SANDWICH AND RUNS IT IN FOR AN 80 YARD TOUCHDOWN!!!! What's Austin doing? He's calling for beer! He's having a beer in the in zone! The ref has thrown a flag for unsportsmanlike like conduct. Austin walks over to the ref and apologizes and hands him a beer. The ref says thank you AND GETS A STUNNER FOR HIS TROUBLE!!!!!!
After four weird quarters which included 18 Stone Cold Stunners and a quarterback playing defense and delivering a...Lou Thez Press to a wide reciever, the COwboys come out victorious 55-7. The post game interview didn't get any better. Mr. Austin kept answering every question by asking "What?!" before ending the interiew by saying "I came in, kicked @$$, raise Hell, and stomped a mudhole in some NFL. And that's the bottom line because Stone Cold Said so". Reports from Seattle are coming in the Richard Sherman and Russell Wilson have all decided to take a leave of adsence for their game against the Cowboys.