The best part about having the WWE Network on around WrestleMania time is there is scheduled to be somewhere around a billion hours of preshow, interviews and so forth before the show. We have no idea what most of that content is going to be, so let’s go based on what has actually been confirmed at this point.
The Usos vs. Los Matadores vs. The Real Americans
vs. Ryback & Curtis Axel (WWE Tag Team
Championship Fatal 4-Way Match)
Image source: Jon Clapp/WWE.com
It's WrestleMania time, so of course its time for the obligatory fatal four way for the tag team titles. When is the last time the belts where defended in just a normal tag team match… Ok, last year, but still! Can’t help but be a little bit upset the Usos aren’t going to be having a rematch against the New Age Outlaws. Furthermore, they shouldn’t have won the tag belts till ‘Mania. That would have led to a much bigger moment than them winning the belts on RAW. The title win at ‘Mania seemed to be the original plan, but they had to do something to appease the fans on that fateful night in Chicago.
Lets be real, the only legitimate challengers in this match are the Real Americans, which isn’t saying much because, they will not be together within the next month or so. Cesaro’s about to get pushed to the moon. Everyone knows it. Our only hope is that all these guys realize how crappy the build to this match was and do their best to steal the show.
And the winner is…
The Usos! I would be shocked if they drop the belts to anyone in this match. They get the win after the superkick/Superfly Splash combo on Curtis Axel.
After the match, Cesaro and Swagger finally break up.
The Shield vs. Kane & The New Age Outlaws
Image source: Jon Clapp/WWE.com
This is an interesting match. That said, my money was on Shield/Wyatts three at ‘Mania. Guess with Bray being busy with Cena (we will talk about that later), that wasn’t going to happen. I don’t fully understand why creative decided to make the Shield all out babyfaces (good guys). They don’t seem as edgy pandering to the crowd but maybe that’s the point. Rumor has it this may be, ahem, Director of Operations Kane’s last ‘Mania match. If that is the case, its sad, but it is always better to walk away on your own terms. The Outlaws add a totally different dynamic to this match.
I don’t think to this point we have seen the Outlaws and The Shield clash, other than the beat down they gave the Shield on Smackdown a few weeks back. The Outlaws have always been underrated as a team. They have great chemistry together and they both sell (Act as if they are in pain) like hell for their opponents. Fully expect the Shield to dish out some major pain in this match. The only thing we can’t help but wonder about is who will shine the hardest during this match. Roman Reigns has been for lack of a better term, shining bright like a diamond (yes that just happened… Deal with it) for the past few months, but Seth Rollins has managed to steal the spotlight the past few weeks. Ambrose is due for a big moment. Maybe that moment will be at WrestleMania!
And the Winner is…
Kane and the New Age Outlaws! Hear me out here: They win because Ambrose is going turn on the other two members of the Shield and joining forces with the Authority. He is going to injure Seth Rollins and he and Roman Reigns will feud over the U.S. title over the next few months.
Daniel Bryan vs. Triple H (Winner to be entered
into the WWE World Heavyweight Title Match)
Image source: Jon Clapp/WWE.com
This match is going to be one for the ages. The tension between these two has been building since SummerSlam. Part of me is happy we are finally getting a payoff, but at the same time we shouldn’t have had to go through so many twist and turns to get here. Let’s be real: all signs point to if CM Punk hadn’t walked away (we still don’t know if that is a real or not, but for the purposes of this lets go with it being real) Daniel Bryan would be fighting Kane or Sheamus at ‘Mania. He got shot gunned into the match with HHH once Punk took a walk. Then when Bootista… err Batista came back and sh*t the big bed so to speak they had to do something to fix the WrestleMania main event. In the end, it all worked out but the WWE’s lack of planning is disappointing. Klaus Nomi was wrong; lighting only strikes once (not again and again). The WWE was getting dangerously close to the crowd fatigue. Cash in on the “flying goat’s” popularity while you can.
Altering the match stipulation so that if HHH wins he gets into the main event was sheer genius. Say what you will about HHH but he really is the best at antagonizing the crowd. He has been crapping all over the IWC (Internet Wrestling Community) since all this started. The best line had to be when he told the WWE Universe that he was going to “Bury” Daniel Bryan at WrestleMania.
And the winner is…
Daniel Bryan… By Disqualification. Even money says HHH gives Bryan the beating of a lifetime. No matter what HHH does Bryan won’t stay down. HHH gets so frustrated that he gets himself disqualified. After the match HHH decides that there is no way Bryan can be in the main event and continues to beat the hell out of Bryan. Bryan gets carted out on a stretcher. HHH declares since Bryan is in no condition to compete, he will be the third man in the main event against Randy Orton and Batista.
The Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
Image source: Jon Clapp/WWE.com
This battle royal is a fun idea. It is a great way to get superstar who would have nothing to do something to do at the biggest show of the year. Plus, who doesn’t love a good battle royal? The problem with matches like this is it’s really hard to determine who is going to win. There isn’t really much to gain by winning this, other than you get to walk around with a huge trophy… Unless you eliminate Bret Hart last (inside joke. Google Bret Hart and Trophies). The best way to approach this is to talk about the fact that there are four spots in front of the promo pic that are greyed out. That means we are going to get some surprise entrants! Who will they be?
Rob Van Dam-
'What are the odds he is high as hell in this pic? Lol. Source: Wainright/IGN.com
Odds: 10-1. Word on the street is he has resigned with the company and will be back soon. What better way to come back then here?
Chris Jericho-
'Shiny suit man!' Source: VsPlanet/Divant art
Odds: 20-1. I have nothing to base this on, but it would be fun to see him.
The Outsiders (Hall and Nash)-
'Time to bury the entire WWE lockeroom...' Source: W. Delorean
Odds: 50-1. Hall will be in town for the Hall of Fame ceremony. So we know he will be in town. Nash has a habit of popping up at these events (two Royal Rumbles in a row). So this could totally happen.
Sting-
'Hulk Hogan, we coming for yoooou Ni...' Source: Matt Homes
Odds: 100-1. Sting is going to be rumored to be part of every WWE event until he actually shows up on WWE TV. Why would this be any different?
Hulk Hogan-
'Can someone help me with this, Brother?' Source: Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images
Odds 1000-1. He is hosting ‘Mania. They say he can’t pass a medical exam, but that could totally be smoke and mirrors… hashtag Cody Rhodes.
And the winner is…
Hulk Hogan! Yes, the odds were 1000-1, but I can’t see Hogan being at ‘Mania and not getting a time to steal someone’s spotlight lol.
Vickie Guerrero Divas Championship Invitational
Image source: Jon Clapp/WWE.com
Let me start off by saying I think the idea of this match is hilarious. AJ is basically being forced to defend her title against the entire Divas division. Situations like this scare me because it seems like they are setting up for the Divas title to be a central part of the Total Divas show, which would mean a member of the cast is going to walk away with the belt. This writer does not want to see the Bella twins, Eva Marie, Summer Rae, or Cameron as the Divas champ.
And the winner is:
AJ Lee. I don’t know how, but she is going to retain.
Side note: If she does drop the belt, it should be to either Tamina or Naomi. There is no real rhyme or reason… Them being hot has absolutely nothing to do with it… nope… nothing at all.
John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt
Image source: Jon Clapp/WWE.com
Cena’s promo a few weeks back about the young stars needing to go through him was foreshadowing of things to come. It seems Cena has finally come to the point that he knows he doesn’t need to be champion. He has nothing to gain from being champion at this point in his career. It’s time to start giving back. The business will not survive if they don’t make new stars and the best way to do that is to have the young guns clash with the preverbal old guard. Make no mistake about it, Bray Wyatt has superstar written all over him.
So far they have done a great job trying to give this angle an actual backbone, other than the normal, “hey, I don’t like you lets have a match at ‘Mania!” formula they have employed through the years. Bray is not trying to destroy Cena physically, but mentally as well. It is very rare that we see Cena be effected by an opponent this way. Usually the only way to really get a rise out of Cena would be to attack his father (don’t be shocked if Bray doesn’t take a page out of the Randy Orton playbook and show up at Cena’s dads house on the last RAW before ‘Mania).
And the winner is…
Bray Wyatt. He has to win this match. It will legitimize him as a top heel in the company. That said, Cena will probably get his revenge at the next PPV. In the end, the good guy has to win. That’s just the way pro wrestling works.
The Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar
Image source: Jon Clapp/WWE.com
This match has been rumored to happen ever since ‘Taker and Lesnar had an awkward stare down at a UFC event. On paper this match should be phenomenal (see what I did there?). The only thing is we have no idea what kind of condition ‘Taker is in at this point. Of course just wrestling once a year definitely works in his favor. Lesnar is probably the biggest threat to the vaunted streak there has ever been. Lesnar destroys everyone and thing in his path… well as long as there is no steel ring steps involved. Lesnar’s one Achilles heel is the steel ring steps (only times he has been pinned since returning have been after an Attitude Adjustment or Pedigree on the steel steps), which is pretty damn funny when you think about it. Lesnar and Professor X both have the same kryptonite. The build to this match has been good, and that is only because of the involvement of Paul Heyman. Everything he touches turns to gold. Lesnar is horrifyingly bad on the mic and with ‘Taker, less has always been more. In any event…
And the winner is…
The Undertaker! The streak should never, ever be broken. Even though Lesnar could presumably beat ‘Taker, this writer just can’t see it happening. Bold prediction: ‘Taker tombstones Lesnar on the ring steps for the win.
After the match, Undertaker will lay in the ring battered and broken. He will struggle to his feet, get down on one knee and do his standard solute with his tongue out in the creepiest way possible (as is tradition). As the lights flicker on and off they will complete go out. Confused, Michael Cole will say this is the most splendiferously vintage and wondrous moment in WrestleMania history. The lights will come back on and to everyone’s surprise, Sting will be standing behind ‘Taker. He will grab him by the hair and WHAM drops him with the scorpion death drop. This will be the start of the yearlong build to ‘Takers last ‘Mania match. At WrestleMania 30, The Undertaker will in fact face Sting. Why? No clue. Just go with it.
WWE World Heavyweight Champion Randy Orton
vs. Batista vs. Winner of Daniel Bryan-Triple H Match
Image source: Jon Clapp/WWE.com
First thing that needs to be said: thank the stars and heavens we are not going to be force to look Randy Orton vs. Batista. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a real knock against either guy, but let’s be real: thousands of people booing at the end of ‘Mania is not something anyone wants to see. That main event was doomed from the start. The biggest question is who the third man in he match will be. In my prediction for the HHH/Bryan match, Bryan gets carted out after HHH gets DQ’d for going too far during their match. This main event will be HHH vs. Randy Orton vs. Batista. Right before the bell rings Bryan’s music will hit. He will limp down to the ring. This match will not be a triple threat. It will be a fatal four way!
And the winner is…
Wait for it…
Wait for iiiiiiiitttttttttt!
Daniel Bryan. The WWE will miss out on the biggest pop at the end of a WrestleMania ever if Bryan doesn’t walk out the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. How will it happen you ask? Batista spears Orton through the barricade. HHH tries to pedigree Bryan. Bryan reverses it into the Yes! Lock. HHH taps in the middle of the ring. Bryan finally gets his revenge. He leads the crowd in the largest yes chant in history.
What do you guys think? Feel costless to let me know in the comments section.